June 27th, 2017.

Winding down a bit. After all the family gatherings, the course, the whatever, it’s time to take a bit of a breather and play it loose. So am coming back from work and doing nothing in particular. Have noticed, by the way, a minor shift with Nicolas, in as much as he doesn’t grab hold of me the instant I cross the front door threshold. Yesterday came back and was into a conversation with V, then went for some bicycle spare parts and such, whilst he was happily playing Minecraft on his PC. So maybe he’s getting along to that age where he will be more self-contained? Although he did lure me our onto the trampoline later on.

Working on the kitchen. Won’t be as expensive as I’d think, though will still set me back some 15K, methinks, That’s alright – the house will appear the better for’t. And it’s good to get that project going. On another note, V introduced me to a tiny house-on-wheels she discovered on the web, and damn fine it looks, too. I could see us in 3-4 years time move to a rent-a-house for a few years, until the kids get older and will want to venture out, then V and I would semi-retire to one of those tiny-house-movement kind of things. Looks comparatively easy to construct and I could see us living in one of those for a few years, sorting out the finances towards building a – only slightly – bigger house for two. But I can see a lot of things, can’t I. Let’s see how it all goes.

I was trying, somewhat succesfully, to recall my childhood home, where I lived from 4 until approximately 20. Would I, given the opportunity, purchase it? I’m not sure. Likely not. I still recall it vividly. The kitchen, with its red counters and green fridge. The cabinets, with their yellow doors. The tiled floor, leading ont the grey carpet, which again spilled over into the livingroom and its brown carpeting. I wonder what it looks like now – quite possible the new family made significant changes. And that’s just as well. Perhaps I’ll knock on their door, sometimes, hope they’ll show me around.

June 22nd, 2017.

Hay-fever medicine wearing me down to the socks. Feeling tired all the time, yawnin constantly at work and having to sometimes rest my forehead on the edge of the desk. Crappy few days.

Listening to music on K’s spotify account. Feeling old, as I go for the 80s Dire Straits albums. Remember being young and eagerly anticipating the release of the latest Sting-album. Now, as I log on to some music service or another, there’s 2 or 3 albums I’ve not noticed were released. Ah, the folly of youth, the hours to idle away.

Booked us a motel just off the German Autobahn, next month when we’ll be gunning down the road towards Disneyland. Not long ’till, even.

June 19th, 2017.

Went to Dorthe and Stig’s joint celeration over the weekend. Very nice setting, if one must sum up the positives. That, and V really affirmaed herself in regards to the stuff she’d arranged. Went down well, the ukulele-swinging-and-singing included. Beyond that, everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief when ’twas over, which I thought was not the right way. But I’m in the know that everyone’s been thoroughly stressed out, so that’s understandable. Yet perhaps not the best way to design a celebration, such that some – including those arranging it – are happy it’s over. The seting was indeed nice; old mansion, not really worthy of the ‘castle’ designation of its original name, Ulrikkesholm Slot, but well kept and tidy as could be. Had no problems letting Nicolas roam free, which he did – though liked to have someone, me, tag along. No sweat, but still one of those events where there’s just no sitting quietly in your seat, enjoying conversation and dinner. Ah, who am I kidding; I wouldn’t’ve enjoyed conversation anyway. In the end I clocked 23.500 steps, equallying 15 kilometers. At least that’s what my smartphone tells me. That’s quite a lot, isn’t it. V drove with the kids to her grandmum’s, I stayed behind to do the dishes and clean up the place and then drove with Stig and Dorthe to Nyborg, hopping a train. Decent arrangement, I wouldn’t gotten any sleep otherwise. And it allowed me to make full use of the Sunday: painted the hallway in a base white that’s later meant to be done over in a wife-accepted-tone. But it looks much better, and it was good to do away with that light blue one. Also spray-painted the mirror in a gold-laquer finish, undoubtedly inspired by the castle visit. And put up some more hangers for all our coats and stuff. Still there’s a lot to do; V will purchase a gray color she likes, for the panels. And of course the wall towards the bathroom is not done. And so on, and so forth. For now, for the day, it was good to have a non-brain-involving activity. Didn’t even turn on the radio, just committed myself to the manual labor and only sat down for dinner. Good exercise. Then suddenly the hour was 16 and I did some basic lawn-moving, weed-picking activities until V and the kids were back. Did the dinner, did the tucking in, did the lunch-boxes. And did some basic therapy-duties, setting aside a half an hour to let V get rid of some of what’s been plaguing her, in all her stressed-out preparations and her thoughts on the festives. And thus the weekend turned over. In just a day’s time, it’s V who turns the age-page. But that, thankfully, should be a rather more subdued affair.

The planted a seed in my head, V, as we talked about a possible relocation when the kids left the nest. I’m inclined on the Jutland setting that I roamed as a child, whereas she’d rather we remained on Sealand. Fair enough, though as we talked it over she adressed my concern thus, “if you want to have a house in Jutland, why don’t you”. I.e. a small holiday-house that I might attend in weekends, that I might have as an on-going project of sorts. I could see myself doing that, for sure. Will hang on to the notion; if just to have something to dream forward to.

June 16th, 2017.

Still subject to post-teachings relief. Feeling relieved that it’s done, and still happy about it. Will hopefully carry that sensation with me, for a while. Weekend comes up, will be mostly about family-matters – V’s folks’ joint 70th celebration – but Sunday hope to do some more painting on the entrance hallway, and finish the Alan Alda biography.

June 15th, 2017.

Well, that was, then, that. Another course done, and this time in a more forgiving setting, even. Don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance to do another one, but if I do I can say that I now know the setting well. Hope they got something to take away from it; I know I certainly did. It’s such an exhilerating feel, such a high, when you’ve dismissed the class and it’s a full day of talking, teaching, listening, reacting. I was going on pure adrenaline, since I hadn’t slept the entire(!) night before and thus had been awake for some 40 hours – can’t tell why I didn’t sleep at all. So, yea, a genuine rush all the way through it. I’m sure I’ll be able to do it better, and then better stil after that, given the chance; have enough pointers to act on. By chance I’m reading that Alan Alda biography, in which he speaks of his insecurities starting out in acting, or even with individual characters that he portrays, about just throwing himself out there – which he has done a lot of, by his own account. I can certainly now relate to that. I’ll keep bettering it, introduce new elements and such, to accomodate some of the requests I had. Let me just get this out and over with; I’m very proud of myself in this regard. I didn’t have to do it, I did it because I wanted to stretch myself. So I contacted the Technological Institute and thus made full use of my surroundings, I carried myself at the meeting, gained their trust, I developed and matured the course material, I rehearsed it, I presented it out of town, I listened to feedback and tweaked the form to accomodate, presented it again. And stretched myself further than I’d thought I would. Life is such an exam, if that’s in your genes. I would seem that’s the case with mine. So I get these chances to prove myself. And, ultimately, pride myself. I’m learning a lot, too. Again referring to Alan Alda, and his theory of “when you truly listen to others, you’re really allowing them to change you”. There’s a lot of truth to that, I believe.

A good day. Needless to say, I slept like a log.

June 12th, 2017.

Just a day – tomorrow – left until I’ll be doing a second run at the course I’ve taken on, that I premiered in Århus just two weeks ago. Feels like a succesful story still, and I’m still taking positives away from it. And must say that it’s made me feel much better prepared – and I even think I’ll be able to enjoy myself, somewhat unlike last time. Let’s see. Have used the days leading up in preparation, mulling over and refining the material, and as such – of course there’ll always be room for improvement – I’m as set as I can get.

Decent weekend, got much done in the garden and to a lesser extent inside the house as well. Made a round around – so to speak – the building with V, cooking up a list of things needing done before we’re outta here. And a damn long list it was. Look forward to a better day – the Summer break, i.e. – when I’ll actually get the time to go about it. Although, it must be said, I’ve managed to come home from work for a couple of days and getting straight to work, leaving play-time with N for the later afternoon instead. That seems to work ok, at least for now, so I’ve begun to paint the hallway and do a bit of finishing work on what’s left from previous efforts – notably the moving of the door to K’s room, has looked like crap for forever. I’m thinking that letting go of the notion of purchasing that plot of land, very previously mentioned, has me more focused on fixing up this place – all with the purpose of someday – year – soon selling it.

Have begun to read Alan Alda’s brief auto-biography. Couple hundred pages, basically what I thought I could muster given all else and particularly the above, of course. I’ve just been in such dire need to read a book, a real book, and it’s a funny sad work that I’ve enjoyed thus far and undoubtedly will until the end. I did much appreciate his ‘Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself’, and it’s good to get behind the character of that philosophical work.

June 12th, 2017.

Just a day – tomorrow – left until I’ll be doing a second run at the course I’ve taken on, that I premiered in Århus just two weeks ago. Feels like a succesful story still, and I’m still taking positives away from it. And must say that it’s made me feel much better prepared – and I even think I’ll be able to enjoy myself, somewhat unlike last time. Let’s see. Have used the days leading up in preparation, mulling over and refining the material, and as such – of course there’ll always be room for improvement – I’m as set as I can get.

Decent weekend, got much done in the garden and to a lesser extent inside the house as well. Made a round around – so to speak – the building with V, cooking up a list of things needing done before we’re outta here. And a damn long list it was. Look forward to a better day – the Summer break, i.e. – when I’ll actually get the time to go about it. Although, it must be said, I’ve managed to come home from work for a couple of days and getting straight to work, leaving play-time with N for the later afternoon instead. That seems to work ok, at least for now, so I’ve begun to paint the hallway and do a bit of finishing work on what’s left from previous efforts – notably the moving of the door to K’s room, has looked like crap for forever. I’m thinking that letting go of the notion of purchasing that plot of land, very previously mentioned, has me more focused on fixing up this place – all with the purpose of someday – year – soon selling it.

Have begun to read Alan Alda’s brief auto-biography. Couple hundred pages, basically what I thought I could muster given all else and particularly the above, of course. I’ve just been in such dire need to read a book, a real book, and it’s a funny sad work that I’ve enjoyed thus far and undoubtedly will until the end. I did much appreciate his ‘Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself’, and it’s good to get behind the character of that philosophical work.