05-12-2001

Do miss my runs. Did I lose a bit of weight, my appetite has diminished notably since that half year ago, I note. And I mentioned the lack of energy, related issue. Will look forward to getting back out again. Very much so. ~~~ On work; all’s well that ends well. All the big projects have come and gone and only leftovers remain. So I’m the businest one no longer. Time to relax, settle down and clean house, deal with the little things and prepare for the a new year of new projects. Will have it shape out differently, profession-wise, but that’s another story. Like to think of it as having done my part, evident with the 150 plus hours overtime. In a surprise-rea­lization it turns out I’ve been under no way near the same amount of stress I distinctly remember going through, same time last year. For different reasons, the greater most likely the fact how this Autumn-Winter course is not the challenge of its latter year counterpart. Add to that the time I’m not out for my runs, there’s a burden of time lifted from my shoulders. Kept it a priority number one throughout, work, whereas yesteryear everyt­hing seemed just that, priority one, at the same time. Still means not I would’ve liked to have spent less time than I did, and still I’ll be a happy man when the 21st brings forth my holiday. As proved the case the last time around, a clear consci­ence will always seem the catalyst of superior ease of mind and the soundest sleep. Hoping for that to come through, this year too. ~~~ On the girlfriend, my case of sporadic concern. Not for the lack of my trying to address some of the issues that plagues her, she feels overburdened by the same financial and professio­nal problems as of a lengthy late, now. Clearly these troubles will not diminish in capacity until she finds it to eleminate one of the two, any which damn one. Then change is evidently not a friend of her’s and vice versa. Had hoped her excursion into her favorite, creative hobbies would allow her to look at things from a different perspective, but alas, not so. Though try as I may to inform her that if she is set on pursuing her creative talent where I think it belongs, she cannot be shy in upsetting people, it feels much like things will go on in this fashion until she is somehow forced to move from the spot she occupies in her world. Hopeful a change on my part will manage to detach her, in a rephrase I hope she’s willing to follow where I might go. For some of the presumed problems she faces, I would find no trouble what so ever in taking them upon me, ridding her of them; they’re so miniscule, in my mind, and the solutions by way of logic certainly have a way of near screaming in ones face. “When this happens, do this”, etc. Very basic solutions to highly logical problems, I could try and force those problems onto me. But how will she react to it, unsure as to how her fear of change will fight against any attempt of mine to in any drastical matter as she will see it rid her of those aforementioned financial concerns, first and foremost. A delicate situation. Will think of it as having made the first move; putting this apartment up for sale, i.e. Now will stand back and let time take its turn, in the hope I’ve foreseen this one right. ~~~ Tomorrow Thursday. Will work on the synopsis for the course some more managed to pen the introduction this evening. Current priority number one, this. Am hoping for a quiet day.

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