25-05-2003

An okay weekend. Saw Thor on the girlfriend’s absence on Saturday, and got my behind kicked in consequtive games of chess. He’s a great player, maintains his concentration throughout. Not as horrible a winner as of once, incidentally. On the excuse of needing to get out of his apartment he went and bought us enourmous sandwiches at an equal enormous cost. Care­less with his money, in his charitable personality. Saw him again on Sunday, when the three of us, Vibeke included, saw ‘Matrix Reloaded’ at the Royal here in Malmoe. Special effects film that I probably wouldn’t’ve gone to see if I’d seen it in advance. Couldn’t get him to accept the money he’d paid for both of our tickets, some two hundred kroner. Careless. Or maybe just care­free. Either way, next time’s my treat. ~~~ First weekend of the girlfriend back from her visit with her folks. Extended on account of the problems between us. Came to an agreement on it all, but of course it’s a process that’ll take some time, if both of our needs must be fulfilled. One semi-big fight ensued over the argument of who’s the greater to blame for the anxiety attacks I’ve been going through. Her point being, I’m inadver­tently blaming her and her problems for my state of being, when she can’t see that she has any problems big enough as to provoke those damned attacks. Cannot say that she’s in the wrong or in the right, but I can say that I’m convinced that they are in major extend brought about on account of the way I worry about her, because of all the concern she voices over her job, her art, the signals of helplessness I feel I’m picking up. And that’s where I’ll try and remedy the situation – my situation – first and foremost, where I sense the greater problem is buried. Later in that process, if no progress has been made it’s time to change the approach. But for now, will see how this fares. ~~~ A few idle hours turned useful, in taking work home with me and pro­gramming away on that. Some Internet-based system for the Depart­ment of Education, will keep me busy at work, at later hours, throughout the week. A challenge I look forward to overcoming, thought it’ll keep me from my reading for a spell. Picked up a series of essays on the works of movie director Oliver Stone, won’t likely spend time on the essays themselves as on the Rolling Stone interview that fronts them. Admire his work and won’t give up a closer look at the man himself. Then there’s a Leonard Bernstein-biography, also. Rediscovered the central library in Copenhagen, in other words. Oan completely: Next paycheque up ahead, next one after that and a holiday in the horizon. Am looking forward to both. ~~~ Tomorrow Monday. Am hoping for a quiet day.

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