22-12-2003

Drove across the country in the backseat of Sis’ Thomas’ Mercedes Benz. Never got around to that showstorm they’d put widespread alerts out on, so managed to clear the islands and most of Jutland in some four hours. Stopped by the Vejle McDonalds for a bite to eat. But I’m getting ahead of myself here… ~~~ Quiet working week. Cleared it in what seemed like no time at all. Everyone, including the clients, cutting down on activities on account of the Christmas. It’s a damn good job to have, in as much as when there’s little to do, one is left to ones own devices. And conscience, also: Did subcumb to working on the odd project of my own, though mostly managed some programming on software for the good ole’ firm. But really a quiet time – of the year generally. Did the Christmas gathering and then quietly disappeared into the weekend. ~~~ Saturday spent with the girlfriend in preparation for and execution of our pre-Christmas evening together. Thought the day came together quite nicely – went shopping, cleaned up the place, she did the cooking. Wonderful dinner, then in front of the fireplace, or, rather, the telly, unwrapping. For my sad efforts got a backpack (good enough, as my previous was about to selfdestruct), a magazine-subscription (Euroman – have yet to find a decent article within the publication, hope to soon), and a book on first-time fathers’ experiences in the genre. All valuable items, and given the multitude of gifts I’ve received already via her Christmas-calendar, certainly enough for one year. She seemed very happy with the necklace and earrings I gave her, and only hope her apperance did not betray her feelings in the matter. ~~~ Sunday slept in. Winding down towards my holiday, i.e. Saw her and all of her parcels off to the train, then was left to my own devices. Spent a valuable three hours in the Dagmar Theatre, a something I haven’t gotten a lot around to lately but was very glad indeed to now find time for. Sat there and had a hot chocolate and pondered upon thing to write about in this year’s conclusion, and then got caught up in the mood of the place (great jazz out of the speakers) and committed to paper one or two things for the script project as well. And got up and went in and sat down and saw ‘Mystic River’, directed and scored by Client Eastwood, written by Brian Helgeland from a novel of what’s his name I can’t remember. Whatever name he bears he’s done a great job with his novel; it’s a near mythical tale of childhood values revisited. Kevin Bacon’s character says it the best, when he speaks of the effect of all of them, those three boys, of their friend’s misgivings. ‘Sometimes I feel as if we all of us got in the back of that car’. The heart of the story is betrayel, and the topic’s magnificiently treated. By m’ssrs Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, abovementioned Bacon, but also Marcia Gay Harden, Laura Linney, and Laurence Fishburne. Eastwood’s score (directed by Lenoard Niehaus – how about that) is absolutely gripping, and its timing into the film masterly. I liked this one, liked it a lot. ~~~ Back around three. Had the place to myself for a few hours before greeting Thor in the door. Come to spend the night and most of next day in prep for the cross-country drive I’d brought to his attention. Thought it decent of me – and was furthermore glad to see him again, and find him well. At least he appared very much so, looking forward to seeing his brother again, joining him for the holidays. Had brought the brother’s XBox game console, consoled (…) ourselves to playing hockey-game after game for the damn near entire duration of his stay. Good fun and games, so to speak, even though I ended up with a blister on a sore left thumb from working the game controls, oh, and losing every single game but one thankful one. He really is the worst damn winner I ever came across, cheering and taunting his victory on with snide remarks and the likes. And he knows it, too, makes a joke out of it. Hardly the most self-contained man, this, he comes across really well and it was good to see him again. ~~~ How could I’ve slept so much of the Monday away, was up by ten. Went for breakfast and ’twas only when I was in full speed down the road apiece I learned the brakes on my bicycle had frozen stuck and that I was subsequently unable to use them for anything but cursing at. Damn grateful I wasn’t nearing a crossroads, but instead had a good stretch to ride the danger out on, so to speak. Came back and put both of our bikes in the basement; better than having them outside and we’re both gone for about a week. Anyways – did much of what we, Thor and I, did on the Friday evening, then sis and Thomas drove up. ~~~ … Slippery roads first when we arrived halfway up Jutland, so not as agonizing a trip as that of two years ago. Dropped Thor off in Viborg, to allow him the short trainride to his brother’s Skive. Will go and visit with them the day after Christmas day, ‘s the arrangement I look forward to. Then it was back via the familiar road, drove into the driveway at a beat past nine o’clock. ~~~ They do have all the answers, don’t they. Chuck it up to experience – that has, at least, seemed to work for them. And now it works for me, also. I’d like to delve into this some more, and use it to eradicate some of the fears and concerns I harbor. And so I shall, throughout this holiday. It’s, y’know, I feel as this is the time of my life I’m learning the most, and it’s quite a bit, actually. In many ways feels like it’s all part of some exam I’m about to take, feels much like I’m sitting down and preparing for that. And the comparison is not an ackward one, I think. I think it’s good I should be able to recognize the answers are not with me, for a welcome change. I have been all about logic and making sense, with little or less time for what didn’t emerge from my belly-button. In reality, and that’s an altogether completely different story isn’t it, I was fed these questions I seem to have by others, by my parents, and will have to turn to others to compose their answers. Ever increasingly I’m allowed more and more pieces to the jigsaw, even on the drive home by some memory of Sis’. I’ll put them in their proper place and work towards the completion. Of me, of what I’m all about. Of what kind of answers I’m made of. It’s some kind of peculiar to note how they, Mum the most, may provide the answers to what’s been bothering me for months, this with a what’s-the-fuzz-all-about conclusion delievered in such an assuring manner. Makes me feel a bit like I’m this kid again, mistaking her word for God’s. The – her – experience, which allows her to arrive at these conclusions with this degree of irreverence(?), I’m left feeling almost ignorant. Of course I’m the better for acknowledging that experience. Makes for pieces of that jigsaw falling into place, and that’s happening more and more, these days. Still it’s a bit of a way until the end of the thing, but, well, a journey of a thousand miles etc. I recognize both the reassurrance of the experiences of my parents now brought on to me, as well as the kind of time it’ll take before they’re mixed up with those of my own to form a useful whole. ~~~ Tomorrow Tuesday. Plan to sleep in, oh boy do I plan to sleep in, and possibly do some Christmas sight-seeing in Viborg, with Sis and Thomas. Am hoping for a quiet day.

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