19-03-2006

Dennis knocked on the door and will spend some time with us. His appearance caused a brief period of shyness with the little girl of ours – but for the five minutes it took him to soften her up and soon enough he was tossing her around like he did the last time. It’s good to have him here. He’s great company. The added bonus is his knowledge on the technical aspect (and every other, for that matter) of filmmaking. He’s able to put me at ease in regards to techincal matters I’d myself given up on, which is a great comfort, particularly around this time of preparing the project towards presentation. Will enjoy his stay and hope he enjoys it too. Sadly enough I’ll possible be away from this home for too much of it, the danger lies. ~~~ The thaw cleared the terrace, miraculously so. Hadn’t seen the woodworks for ages. So it’s a comfort. Also my lawn is beginning to show. Miracle of Spring. Have possible secured myself a inflamed throat in the adjustment period of Winter to Spring. I feel as if I’m sick constantly. Though fortunately not enough as to keep me away from the day-job. Or? I feel a strange kind of stressed out. Everything drags on and on and on, without a hint of closure in sight. Stress, I gather, accumulates not in way of a tremendously strained psyche, rather illness on my poor frame. I lack sleep. I feel as if I could sleep for a thousand years. Who’s complaining? No one said it would be easy, to fulfill a life’s dream. And, well, so far it hasn’t been. But at least within these pages I’m able to moan all I care. I wouldn’t be without, actually. ~~~ I long to read for a spell. I haven’t read a decent book in a hundred years. What was the last? “Masters of Doom”. What, half a year ago? Obscene. Reading to the girl of ours makes me very happy. She’s attentive as heck, and I know the day will also come when I’ll be able to introduce her to some of the great classics. Huckleberry Finn, and the likes. She desires knowledge; I’ve only spelled her name to her a couple of times and she knows her way to a ‘t’ or an ‘s’. She’s smart, smart as hell, I have no doubt she’ll outsmart both of us, V and I. ~~~ Brief chat with sis. She offers her sentiments on the business with Thomas friend stomping on my camera, assures me if it was she who had it for loan more would have been done, the quicker. I’m somewhat annoyed with him, Thomas, for not having taken steps to secure me financially – I made it clear to him I was in the red about the mortgage upcoming. My hopes are set for an end-of-the-month return of said camera, but I’m still unsure about it all. I wish I hadn’t loaned it to him, and will not make that mistake again. Not a specific blame on him; one simply, I’ve learned, loan out stuff so expensive there’s the danger of failed friendships come reimbursement time. I doubt not we’ll speak again on human terms, but it’s safe to say we’ll both look twice for some time before looking deep into each other’s eyes again, I’m afraid. ~~~ Tomorrow Monday. Am hoping for a quiet day.

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