07-09-2007

My birthday tomorrow. One gift being V shipping herself and Kirstine out to Nyborg, so that I might enjoy the qualification and actual race of the F1 circus coming to Italy, solo. Which was very nice of her and one of the best gifts of the day. There were many; she outdid herself in trying to be nice to me, when in turn I wasn’t being very nice to her, I’m afraid to say. At one point I grossly insulted her efforts to please me and found her in tears as a result. Washes the world away, doesn’t it. She was upset about her parents not arriving on time (as always they issued their promises on this, and as always failed to deliever) and got into a thing about the necessity of our girl having dinner before bedtime, when in reality she had been stuffing herself with birthday-cake and what not throughout the day. And I put her to the spot where I knew it would hurt the most, and caused grief where uncalled for. Being in the right – the little one took only two bites out of what I made for her – did little to console my gulity conscience. Why did I do this? Because I was, in turn, upset about the fuzz being made of the day. So many arrangements and attention she lavishes on me, and I shy away from them by way of my persona. I’d much rather do with a nice breakfast and the presents-thing and let’s say that’s it for the day. The visiting, the birthday-cake made in my honor, all that, trying to adapt to her way of celebrating the day doesn’t do it for me. I think she’s damn near unable to accept I don’t like to make a big deal out of it; certainly explaining this to her yields little effect. I know it’s out of love for me and also out of a desire to build these things up towards their execution, the joy of that. I should be better at dealing with it; suppose not taking advantage of it to hurt her the most would be a terrific start. So I’ll keep on trying to fight my nature, here, and do better at the next one – where I’m sure she’ll be back at it, guns blazing. One nice birthday-present was a horribly expensive mini-cruise to the capital of Norway. Ever since Sis and Thomas went, I have been eager to go myself. No, actually for longer back. And now’s the chance, which is great. This next Monday, even, beautifully timed as well. Will make the most out of the trip to repay her of her kindness towards me. If that’s I get for putting money into her account I should do this some more, really. Look much forward to the Monday. Won’t be the Titanic but a new experience I’m sure I’ll take a lot away from. ~~~ Tomorrow Saturday. Am hoping for a quiet day.

Advertisements