12-02-2008

Update on the illness-thing: Did indeed turn out to be pneumonia – again – so I’m back on penicillin. Again. Had thought ’twas just a year ago I last had pneumonia, but by my asking they dug out the files – 5 seconds flat – and so it seems it was actually 2005. So maybe my immunous system is not so devastated as I’d like to think. But I must get to exercise some more, that’s a fact. And work on my attitude, not the general one (albeit it probably needs an overhaul also) but my back, my poise, so to speak. ‘Attitude’ in this regards is probably a Danish term. Anyways – two days of penicillin and I actually don’t feel that much better off, but as far as I recollect one’s entire system is laid to vaste by this drug and therefore it’s likely fair I’ll take some time in getting up to speed. ~~~ I am somehow strangely torn by being young and old, simultanously. I harbor notions to purchase a modern graphics accellerator card for my computer and take to the latest and greatest in computer games – but I’m held back by discipline dictating chores to do before taking that sort of time out. Business before pleasure. I should be able to find time for both. I feel as if part of me is betraying my youth – and I use that term lightly – by holding me back on those inclinations. Yet I’m sure if I were to spend the time involved in this, I would gain as a partly result a guilty conscience of having vasted my time to a fleeting experience. Why is it, then, I cannot seem to find my shelf in ageing? Well, in part because of the projects I choose to undertake, somewhat serious endeavors which do not require any of the youthful mind’s inabilities – impatience, to name the greater – to succeed. And in part because there are so many of them, projects. I do away with one and take on two more. A script for the screen, a scanning company to run, a website of tiny and simple application tools to purchase, it’s too much for one man with 24 hours to his day. No time for fun. Well I’ll need to make time, I sense, before I’m able to continue. Notably as I don’t wanna travel into my last horizon known as the most boring human, I’ll set aside time to watch some more movies and play some more computer games and such. Have some fun. Most certainly in the hope that, having chipped away this scrap of wood from my shoulder, I can return to the more serious stuff and do a better job with it. Although I’m making progress by the script, mentioned, my soul’s not in it, not where it should be. I do thankfully have precedence to fall back on. Having finished the movie I played computer-games to my delight until I was fed up, whereupon I got down to the more serious business, I recall. So, yep, fun times ahead. Past this fucking bout of pneumonia, that ie. So tired of coughing I can’t begin to describe. ~~~ Tomorrow Wednesday. Am not sure where I stand, V’s delightful mother has staked her claim to take Kirstine away for the remainder of the week, which is also the remainder of the winter holiday week here in Denmark. But she’s been somewhat unstable, the mother in question, of late, so can’t tell if it’ll amount to something or the other. Will wait and see. Will try and get to work, for a change, on this count of illness haven’t been there since Thursday last week. Let’s see how it all fares. Am hoping for a quiet day.

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