03-05-2009

Parked work elsewhere whilst tending to the kid, in V’s absense – she was off to see friends. Meant less time for the work I got piled up, i.e. scanning jobs need finishing. Good to have that activity going, there’s not a lot coming in, but of course a bum deal to have less time to do it in, and deadlines to meet. Plus the kid is sick again, ordinary cold but still that kind that keeps her coughing on end, waking us up many times during nights and generally find her being a pain in the ass because she herself hasn’t gotten enough sleep. In short, despite her 5 years of age it still suck when she’s ill, really takes its toll. V thought herself pregnant after going over 10 days, but naught came of it. Albeit I was disappointed myself, I cannot – in light of the circumstances – help myself but to think ‘thank God’. I feel damn old when I don’t get my sleep, and there hasn’t been enough of that of late. I thought I saw some grey in my beard this other day, too. Could I imagine starting all over again, with a second kid? I guess I could, as I’ve a grand enough imagination. But I’m pretty sure it’ll take 10 years off my life or so, based on present conditions. Slaving over life like a pig doesn’t help, of course, and I must say myself I’m working too much. The times I take out to relax are but stolen moments, doesn’t really amount to anything, sure as hell not proper relaxation, not to mention rest. Even in Dublin I couldn’t find much peace of mind, althought it was great to fly again. I miss the days of idle time, and this is not referring to the time when I wasn’t a father to a 5-year old. Have entertained thoughts of selling this house and renting a place in Pedersborg, in time for the kid’s school start. That wouldn’t be half bad, if it was, to get away from a big house we haven’t the time to tend to. I do like it, this brick of a building, but maybe it’s not the right time to be homeowners. Not if it means a lot of time spent maintaining and caretaking, and that’s how it fares at the moment; there’s no time to enough the setting, the space. This can’t be what it’s all about. ~~~ Tomrrow Monday. Will find myself working away at the week in anticipation of the Friday, where we’ll be in Jutland to visit mum and dad. That’s looking forward to, for it’ll mean I’ll have concluded some rather big projects. Am hoping for a quiet day.

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