12-08-2010

Tomorrow the 13th – a Friday. Not looking forward hereto. Not the way things have been going on around here, lately. A lot of arguing, shy of fighting. A lot of the kid won’t sleep, who lacks what sleep, a lot of there’s no time for anything, a lot of work. A lot of me wondering if this is worth it. All that work, I mean. She has no job, has no prospect of one, but the argument of securing money for our retirement is not valid in light of the present circumstances. All that matters to her is the right now, not tomorrow. It’s all she sees. But there’s a mortgage to be paid, kids to be sent to schools and institutions, to be fed and clothed, I can’t do that without working the way I do. Can I? We could life off a stone, if that’s a term, but that would bring about more arguments of not having the means to do that which she is used to. Take away the car, the fancy phone, man, I wouldn’t wanna be near her if so. Maybe I should close the company down, and live off the savings there – but that would last us what, a year and a half, and then what? An opportunity would be wasted to secure the kids their school, secure our house. That’s no way to fare, either. At times I wonder, how would it all go down if some kind of family crisis were to emerge in the shadow of some deadline I’d have to meet? I must plan ahead towards that, it’s bound to happen and I would be knee-deep in shit if there were no-one here to take the helm. Must grab hold of Thor some more, that’s adament. I dunno… We may be wearing each other out, that’s what it feels like. Look forward to the Las Vegas-trip, so hard you can’t imagine. ~~~ It’s gonna get worse before it gets better, right? Kids… All those trials. Friday. Am hoping for a quiet day.

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