12-10-2010

Worked until 2.30 last night, so was a wee bit tired throghout. Was good to have Søren for company, in the basement. For a first employee, he’s a damn good choice. A bit of luck on my part, I believe. He doesn’t seem to mind the tedious work, and he’s very productive already, which is great. Hope the good experience will continue. ~~~ Stupid ‘argument’ with V, who found a t-shirt unrecognizable to her in the laundry. Hadn’t myself seen it before, take it it’s her mother’s, or what have you. At any rate, she gets it into her head I’m having an affaire and the t-shirt belongs to the woman with whom the alledged affaire is taking place. Took her some time to calm down, even. “As if”: As if I had the time to nurture a relationship with another woman, which I do not, As if I would for some reason beyond any reasonable sense bring back her t-shirt AND decide to wash it(!). As if the whole notion isn’t completely ridiculous. Her comment “so that’s what you do when you go go-carting” was a particularly bright spot: I have on two occasions gone go-carting, one time was with Dennis at an arrangement she herself set up to celebrate my birthday, so that couldn’t’ve been a date for a date. So that’s one (1) time when potentially I could’ve went for it; well an affaire by definition is a series of dates, isn’t it? Don’t know much about these things, but I do know I shouldn’t have brought her flowers this other day, as this became a mere argument to prove a point; “and why did you do that?”, as if ’twas to cover up a guilty conscience. Ridiculou. There is, of course, a seriousness to this that I fail to see, simply because the wall of work I’m facing to keep us afloat, in this house, and in this manner of living which we have acustomed ourselves to, blocks my vision in regards to these things. I have not time for it, have hardly time to take a bath it feels. So this outburst of emotion cannot be taken seriously by yours truly. It does, however, bother me that I have to waste my time listening to her when she turns one of these records. She is so insecure about herself these days, it has truly gotten worse over the years. It’s a great big turn-off, that’s what it is, and I must admit to a fading love, I’m afraid. There’s still time and hope, of course, I recognize the fact that our son is merely 8 months old and the first year is meant to be a bitch, isn’t it. So I’m not going to throw it away, but a change must be made if I’m to bear working a job AND running a company AND doing my best to be there for my family, in entertainment and chores alike – AND having to listen to babble like this. ~~~ Tomorrow Wednesday. Am hoping for a quiet day.

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