05-11-2010

Hurt my hand by trying to put it through a door, angered to the boiling point by our darling girl. Thankfully took place beyond her line of sight, so she shouldn’t be overly affected emotionally. She was throwing a hissy fit about not wanting to wear warm clothes for a sleep-over in the trailer, but it’s truly too cold outside for anything but what her mother decided upon. In the end I lost it and has to retreat to the basement. Am not too proud of myself, but in all honesty this was one of those occasions where if I hadn’t carried through there would have been no respect throughout and she really was over the top, V herself admitted as much. So put her to bed amidst a sea of tears and apologizing and what else was in her arsenal and tomorrow’s another day. ~~~ Did another go-cart stint, this time arranged by yours truly with some colleagues from work, my secondary one i.e. Went down well, though some got a bit motion-sickness going. Cut six tenths off my best time thus far, got through to the finale and made it to the top of the table with a decent start and over-taking maneuvres, must I say so myself. Still in love with the sport, would love to do some more. Went to Christianshavn afterwards, had dinner in a great restaurant called the “Spicey Chicken”, good lamb, great prices, fun for the whole family. Then, later same evening, saw “The Town” at the Cinemaxx in Dennis’ great company. The very best of friends, so good to have those, and particularly him. The brother I never had. ~~~ Feel stressed out at so many levels. There’s a magnitude of work and very little time in which to do it all; develop the company, keep that income coming in. Be all that I can be for the family, one of which his seperation anxiety wherefore Vibeke is taxed out, but whatever time I spend with them goes from the company, which is our entire base of existence. If I focus on one, the other one suffers, it’s a loss-loss situation. Rarely do I get to bed before midnight, I lack sleep horribly. Thouh of course it won’t, it seems like there’s no end in sight. Right at this point in time I cannot claim to be fully happy with my life, not when taking evenings out to see a movie brings me so much guilt in letting down other priorities. A difficult time. Hope we’ll get through it, somehow, alright. Las Vegas should do me much good in the relaxation department, but already – and for some time now – I feel tremendous guilt in leaving my family behind, when I should be feeling excited about going abroad. I worked my ass off for years, now, supporting my loved ones, but still I cannot do this for myself guilt-free. ~~~ Tomorrow Saturday. Am hoping for a quiet day.

Advertisements