14-11-2010

A bit of peace and quiet falls on our house. Having not had too much of it, it’s a welcome change. Sleepless nights caused by the little one’s ear infection did not do wonders to our marriage. Our worst argument yet, I think, at the end of which I lost my temper and threw stuff around. Not very proud of myself, though I did manage to not do bodily harm to anyone (but myself). A lot of anger, seems to be a recurring theme in as much as these last entries reveal. I can easily spot where it’s all coming from, i.e. too much work and not enough fun. I’m worn down to the brink of an attack of some kind, so it feels. Ah, well, maybe slightly exaggerating. But truth be told I’m a bit frightened of myself of late, I didn’t used to be such ignightable. This family life takes its heavy toll on me, I must confess as much. I need peace of mind, and particularly so when the burden of being the sole provider rests with me, I’m unable to focus thus make the kind of money that will support our way of life if I cannot have some peace and quiet in which to finish these jobs and develop these products. So, yea, pressure, lots of it. I do wish for a happier tune. Looking forward to the 2-year ago-planned USA visit, a fortnight until. Of course my guilty conscience will bother me once I’m there, leaving my family behind like this. Tainted, that’s what I am, tainted. ~~~ No time for this entry, a quarter past one o’clock and there’s the daughter’s lunchbox to do. Tomorrow Monday. Am hoping for quiet day.

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