July 3rd, 2011.

July. Start of my holiday, by George. And the kid’s off to Funen to stay with her grandparents, so am making good use: Working, tending to the garden. Trying to get the latter organized so I won’t have to tend to it, at all. Wish I had mum’s skills in this, but no. Am not missing the kid all that much, I can confess (to these pages) – is this wrong of me? I get quite worried about myself, would I miss her at all if she never came back, etc. I hope bearing that notion is sign that I would care. Of course I would. My body and mind is simply celebrating the fact, I trust, that I’m a singular individual who’s not tied up on anyone in particular by chore, rather by will. So when I’m by myself I make use of that time as best I can, before the opportunity goes away as the family is back together again. I’m not entirely sure what I just wrote actually makes sense, though. I’ll be very happy to see her again, that I do know.

A lot of thoughts about the topic of ‘focus’ going through my mind. Even ditched an evening out with Dennis and Mads in favor of it, opting instead to work. It’s probably – likely – too late in my life to start having them, but still… I have begun to utterly disapprove of wasted time, more than my usual. In terms of my business, which keeps us honest in this house and life-style, I wander too much, hardly persuing the ‘cash-cows’ rather trying to get my foot in here, and here, and where else. There are a number of things I would like to try, and try to investigate the potential of, but the outcome of those is perhaps 10% of the 100% income. They are stuff that can wait, in other words, in lue of making the calls and making the real money-making jobs happen. Given my set assignment, of getting rid of my debt (in this house) sooner rather than later, it’s ridiculous I should waste my time so. But it’s not just in terms of my business, rather my life as well. I loathe to think of the number of times I set out going for absolutely perfect, spot-on, about a certain venture. Such as, I dunno, setting the perfect surroundings for a racing computer-game, for instance – building the right rig, setting it up right, cleaning the room where it should sit – but in reality that’s half the time wasted in setting the scene, rather than shooting it. There were too many of these occasions, of bad prioritizing.  I have gotten to the point where I do not have the luxury of that kind of time any more, however much I would like to have. So I must get better at not wasting that share I’m allotted, and think before I act.

In proof – off to bed. Tomorrow Monday. Am hoping for a quiet day.



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