November 19th, 2013.

Can’t believe I’m down to 3 e-mails in my private inbox. It’s a certain thing they’ll soon breed,  but I’ll take what I can get right now. I could certainly load some on there, in a hurry; the house exterior looks like hell. And it’s generally not a dull life.

Got the day off on account of the municipality elections. Did my chores with V, as a couple’s thing, after her freaking out earlier in the day. She’s got her doctor specialist’s appointment next week, and she’s scared witless she’ll be diagnosed with cancer; never mind the miniscule changes. Can’t speak out against her argument – “someone gets it” – but when the chances are so slim I’d for one would rather wait in freaking out until I was actually diagnosed. But that’s not the way she works,I know, she needs to get it out there, in the open, all her fears and anxieties for the World to hear (well, just me will apparently suffice) and then she’s feeling better equipped to go there and get the appointment done. She prepares for the worst, always have. I won’t buy into it, it’s a shitty way to do it. Hope should always prevail. I guess she’s found little use for that, along the way, and so this has become her m.o. Well, all I can say is this, that for someone living with her, with all the fears and anxieties she’s been through along the way, it sucks. It may work for her, that strategy, but it wears me out. I don’t want to not deal with it, lest I feel like a shithead for not caring, but it doesn’t go well with my ‘hope prevails’ attitude. So, yea, it takes a toll. Tonight she’s off to visit with a girlfriend, Anja, and hopefully that’ll instill in her some calm.

No doubt the day off went a long way towards decreasing that aforementioned count of e-mails. Tomorrow’s a regular working day, puts a natural stop to that. Things are looking up at work, though, have become involved in a project that seems interesting and promises to teach me a lot about the business-side of the things there. So, good stuff.


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