July 26th, 2014.

I wonder what retirement will be like. Really. I guess I’m sitting here in the midst of my holiday, with a few days to myself and I’m looking out the window and trying to soothe the restlessness in me. And so I ponder if there will always be something to do, and what that something will be. Right now it’s rudimentary stuff; cleaning the house before the family gets home (writing ‘family’ there just made me smile), or some minor chore in the garden. There will come a time when I won’t be needing to do those things – then what? Will I become slow in the endeavors I have then, or will I be restless still?

I at times envy those in apartments, will little or no maintanance at all. But then I grasp that we’re living the same kind of lives. They may be seeing their friends more, whereas I likely value and look forward to seeing my friends more than they. And they may have more time for entertaining and educating themselves, but all entertainment is repetition on a theme and I, on the other hand, will be marginally better at prioritizing education and gain as much as they. Am I trying to be complacent? I think so. That’s what this holiday has done to me. The family gets back today, though, that should help me out in the opposite, so to speak. I’m glad I got so much done with these few days (can’t imagine what I could do given that retirement, abovementioned!), if I had succumbed to all-out enjoyment of myself there would’ve been a harsh backlash as when they get home I would’ve gotten so used to that, I would’ve been hard-pressed to let it go.

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