As I was listening to some music of old acquiantance – Danser med Drenge, their self-titled debug album – I found myself wandering back in time, to my rented Room in Århus. The first ting that came to mind was the somber scene of telling this girl, Margrethe, of my plans to vacate the city in favor of Copenhagen. She did not take it lightly; and left the place in tears that I had not in a million years seen coming. So I felt like a fool, but only for a very short while, I had places to go. Thinking back and I wonder what happened to her, and how she came to invest as much in me as apparently I hadn’t in her. I recall visiting her multiple times, but I was young and thus foolish and unsure of what constituted a ‘relationship’ and ‘girlfriend’. And she was a true Christian girl so we never kissed or even held hands. Damn shame, if she’d been more forthcoming and taken a bit of a charge it’s much likely I’d stayed and she wouldn’t needed waste her tears on sorry ass me.
I’m thinking my life would’ve been thoroughly different if I’d gotten a bit of an earlier start in, romance-wise. I hadn’t a grip on those things and got prone to self-loathing and it’s a damn miracle I summed up the courage to ask all those girls out during my time in Copenhagen. I guess being 26 years of age before getting myself into a ‘real’ relationship is telling enough in itself. But then I’ve always been unsure of the turning of my life’s events, haven’t I, even just a year ago I recall applying for some embedded software developer position, just because I was really psyched by experimenting with electronics and trying to bulid a robot(!). That’s really rather reminiscent of my younger, direction-less self, though of course now I’m more involved and have others dependent on me, so there’s less room to mess about. I’m not convinced I’d be more knowledgeable about my chosen craft, and I certainly wouldn’t been more or less happy, past ten years of marrige should’ve evened out the good and the bad. I’m thinking I would’ve arrived at this place in time in pretty much the same state as I’m in today. At least that’s what I’d like to think.
Anyways, where ever she may be now, I hope she’s as happy as can be and not wasting her time thinking about that fool she met in Århus, who never got his act together. And likely never will.