December 20th, 2014.

There are times – though very far between – that I rest my eyes on a girl so beautiful that I begin to immediately question the foundation on which I’ve managed to build my life. Even to entertain the consequences of leaving my wife, what with all would entail of disasters and broken hearts. And, even further, pondering such utter non-sensisal notions like ‘could I share my love between two women’, and trying to trick myself into believing I’m a helluva a guy, that two women would be quite agreeable to share! Ridiculous, I know, and I’m glad I’m able to shrug the idea before long. It puzzles me still, though: I’d like to think of myself as a rational guy, yet when this kind of lighting strikes, it’s all out the window. I would like to – though I’d never of course dare speak of it with V – think of it as a sign of a healthy mental state. And by which I mean not that I’m able to shrug off the idea, but that I’m still able to become smitten in this fashion. And I even hope I’ll still be thus able for many years to come, albeit with every such forth-coming inspiration be able to apply the kind of restraint I did tonight, when I laid my eyes on the most gorgeus of girls I’ve ever seen and doubt I will again for a long, long while – and then left the company x-mas party early, well in the know that I’d found it hard to stay away from her, had I stayed. What would’ve been the use – yet such was her beauty and deamanour that I can’t shake her countenance from my mind. Divine face. Utterly magnificient girl.


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