I feel the need to reinvent myself. Not solely because that sounds like it would be really cool, but also because, well, I think I’m in a role here at my work that would be hard to break out of. I’m thinking my work-place hasn’t delivered on the promises I was given when I first got here – and for the foreseeable time that won’t be possible, as far as I can tell. Did I make a bad choice? I don’t think so. Perhaps they did, on the other hand, who knows. I do linger in a role that I’m not entirely comfortable with, that of the guy sitting in the corner doing his solitary project-thing (big conversion project), and furthermore I seem to be compared with this old geezer, colleague who spends half his time surfing the web. Not out of spite, it’s simple in the way the office is laid out. Small things like that can really set the tone, can’t they. I do seem secure in my position, it appears – yet why do I feel this wearyness. Maybe because I have a number of ideas I wish to move on, but don’t have sufficient time to. Maybe I desire to be the master of my own domain again; that felt good about having my own company.
So will give that notion some good thinking about. Branching myself out into teaching proves I’m already underway, and thank god for having set that in motion. Well, at least that’s what I tell myself now, but if I were to bomb it completely I’d of course regret it. Let’s see what I can do elsewhere, too.
Still sniffling like a sick puppy. Didn’t sleep last night, nose so clogged up with snot I couldn’t breathe but with my mouth open. Thankfully the kid seems to be over the better part of it.