June 8th, 2017.

Saw a much reasonable offer for a plot of land with an old house on it, that I thought would be ideal for razoring and building a new one on top of. And even set in motion events to have the municipality contemplate my hastily drawn house-design, and getting to know what the bank thought of those plans and such. But in hindsight – 48 hours’ worth of it – will let those plans go. It’s too soon for me, I have been doing too much and I couldn’t in good faith take this kind of challenge on myself sans the proper time in which to do it. There’s the kitchen that needs remodelling first, then the terrace, plus all the general maintenance that I’d need to before being able to sell this house we’ve already got. Then there’s the course, of course, and all those business-plans I’d need set aside for a long, long time. There simply wouldn’t be enough preparation time, mentally nor in reality. ‘T would be a de-stabilizing move, verbatim, and it’s too many years too soon. So will go Friday and take a look at the plot, and then likely do nothing much about it. Could perhaps bring myself to purchase the grounds and just leave it at that – yet that, too, carries liabilities, not all of them financial ones.

I think it’s time to slow down. Way down, even. Do some fun stuff. Get at some of those things about the house that’s been bugging me for a long while. There’s not the kind of time yet to do that which I want to do, and the kids wouldn’t favor the move, and how it would keep me aloof and away. I don’t recall being much around my dad when I was of N’s age, though of course N likely gets his share more than enough. I did hear V say, just yesterday, that we don’t really have too many conflicts in regards to our kids. Which is true, but there’s perhaps a reason behind that, i.e. the time we spend with them. Given any shred of good fortune, that will spill over into their adulthood, and as such it’ll prove a greater investment than most others I’ve managed to make.




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